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on December 12, 2018

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I wish people would've realize sooner just how lonely struggling is

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Life is mainly a cycle of issue you're slowly getting tired of. Life is all about faith to the religion you're in, but then you start to "have a life" and actually be worrying about so many things, because without them, you literally can't survive. It's really tiring to wake up and the first thing you care is about the job, the one that's fueling you financially. You have no money, and the thing you think all the time is how you gonna get back at it. And then you get tired of it because you're supposed to not think about that so much, but yet it's what you need to keep you alive, and it's actually a MUST thing for you to fulfil. In that state of not having, you get stuck in that evil cycle and you just want it to end soon, for you to be successful, to actually be free from that.

The concept of faith and overconfident is so faint. One moment you feel like everything's going to work out, that you TRUST the God won't disappoint you any longer. "Is this the up I'm getting after what I've been through?" You start questioning the scenario. "so is thia what all that fails were for? If it's not for that, I wouldn't be doing this, right?". And then one moment, you just have that click on your head that says, "you actually think that's gonna make it? Just how great you think you are that you are actually confident?" and these feelings keep coming on and off and on and off and you're questioning yourself, is it the faith or yourself you're experiencing right now.

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